Milhouse: If it's the blue hair and the schnoz you're digging, I've got plenty more cousins.
Bart: Thanks Milhouse, I think I'm gonna steer clear of Van Houtens for awhile.
Milhouse: More for me, marrying a cousin worked out great for my parents.

Milhouse: Fie?
Bart: Yeah, look it up.
Milhouse: Used to express disgust or outrage? That's the worst F word there is!

Bart: You did it Homer, you saved me from the bullies, you're the coolest kid I've ever met.
Milhouse: What about me?
Bart: You're in the top hundred.
Milhouse: Booyah!
Bart: Now you're not.

A fat kid with a dream. I can't compete with that.

I never would have suspected the one criminal in town.

Did you ever wonder if hippopotamuses think that rhinos are unicorns?

Milhouse: I can't wait to use your moves on Lisa.
Lisa: Eww. On every level, eww.

Lisa: I hope you're happy. You all just wasted your time working your way into an after school class.
Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, and Ralph: Aahhh!

Milhouse: My heart makes up for my shortcomings, like Rudy!
Robot: Rudy was only put in at the end of a meaningless game. We will notify you if this game becomes meaningless.

Every vandalism spree needs an obnoxious laugher.

Milhouse: I need that [cootie] shot, my dog and I accidentally touched tongues.
Bart: How is this accidentally when it's the fifth time?

Bart: Those are girl overalls!
Milhouse: I could pull it off.

The Simpsons Quotes

One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere, like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..

Grampa

Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow

"Woodrow"