Kelly: We're back together again baby.
Ryan: We're back.
Kelly: They tried to keep us apart, but they couldn't. It was like destiny.
Ryan: I- I realized that for whatever reason I... just couldn't do better than Kelly.

Why have I stayed at Dunder Mifflin for so long? Certainly not because of the paycheck. 'Cause I could be making more money as a doctor or a professional athlete. I think it's because they respect me. A boss that will not fire you, even though you just tell him off... right to his face... over the phone. That's respect.


Michael: Why did you send her away? That- God. You knew I liked her and you just sent her away. And that- that was a sucky thing to do man.
Dacvid Wallace: Michael, sometimes-
Michael: That was a really sucky thing to do.

Andy: Oh man, she is so pissed.
Oscar: Mmm.
Andy: She's taking us back to first base.
Oscar: What is first base with Angela?
Andy: I get to kiss her forehead... I had a good time hanging out this weekend.
Oscar: I had a good time too.
Andy: Wingman for life. WMFL.
Oscar: Thank you.
Andy: You up for a chest bump?
Oscar: No.

Client: I'll be honest with you, we've been talking with Catalyst Paper. Their prices are better than yours.
Michael: Look, people continue to come back to us time and time again because they feel cared for here. They feel respected and they feel that their needs matter. They are treated like human beings.
Client: Everything okay?
Michael: Yes.

Ryan: Okay. You have to break up with Darryl. I already typed out a text message for you. All you have to do is press "send".
Kelly: I don't know. I mean, it's well-written and all, I just-
Ryan: Has to be done. We'll press send together. [phone beeps]
Kelly: Oh my God. He's going to kill us.
Ryan: I'd like to see him try. [kisses Kelly]
Kelly: [phone beeps] Oh! He says it's cool. He said, "It's cool."
Ryan: That's all he wrote?
Kelly: That's all he wrote.

Oscar: Hey, um... thanks for trying to hook me up.
Andy: You kidding me? It's what I do. Get the whole nine 'nards.
Oscar: I can't believe we called her up.
Andy: Totally! What. Who?
Oscar: Angela. I can't believe we called her up last night.
Andy: We called Angela?
Oscar: You... you called... you called her.
Andy: That was real?! I thought I dreamed that. Oh, God!
Oscar: Alright.
Andy: Oh, God!

You know, it's true what they say. Long Island iced teas are way stronger in Canada.


Jim: How does everyone know already?
Dwight: Know what?
Meredith: Pam failed art school.
Dwight: Oh, well, doesn't surprise me.
Jim: Excuse me?
Dwight: Have you seen her painting, Jim? The building? There are shadows coming from two different directions.
Phyllis: Dwight, stop it.
Stanley: Dwight.
Dwight: What? Are there two suns?

Angela: [on phone] Hello? Hello?
Andy: What is wrong with you?
Oscar: Why won't you do Andy?
Angela: What?
Andy: That was Oscar and he wants to know why you won't do me and I think it's a valid question.
Angela: Are you drunk?
Andy: This is Andy Bernard!
Angela: I know who this is!
Andy: I wanna take you to sex school.
Angela: What?
Dwight: [on phone] Who is that, Monkey?
Andy: Is somebody there?
Angela: Are you drunk?
Andy: I have needs.
Angela: We will discuss this later.
Andy: Naked.
Angela: What?
Andy: We'll discuss it later naked. I want to see you naked.

Oscar: What do you see in her? What do you see in Angela?
Andy: What do I see in Angela?
Oscar: I want to know.
Andy: I see through a hard exterior to a little jelly in the middle. She is teaching me to be a better person. And she's working really hard on that. And she has the softest skin I've ever seen and I can't wait to have sex with her.
Oscar: You haven't had sex?
Andy: No.

Andy: You'll thank me when they spank thee.
Oscar: Don't do this...
Andy: Do you guys like apples?
Guy at table: What?
Andy: Do you like apples?
Guy at table: Uh, sorry... what?
Andy: [gives them drinks] Well, how do you like these apples? Alright, on a scale of 1-10, how hot is that dude?
Guy at table: Is he your boyfriend or something?
Andy: No, but he could be yours if you play your cards right.
Guy: Dude, leave us alone.

The Office Season 5 Episode 8 Quotes

My boss is sending me abroad to do a presentation to an international client and I have always been intrigued by all things international. The women, the pancakes, the man of mystery.


Michael: Did you know that in Morocco it is common to exchange a small gift when meeting somebody for the first time? In Japan you must always commit suicide to avoid embarrassment. In Italy you must always wash your hands after going to the bathroom. This is considered to be polite.
Jim: Why are you telling us this?
Michael: I am jetting off on an international business trip.
Jim: Where are you going?
Michael: To Can-A-da.
Jim: Where?
Michael: Canada.
Jim: Okay.