36 Lafayette Reynolds Quotes from True Blood

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We're recalling some of the best lines from Lafayette Reynolds on True Blood.

Nobody could deliver a line like Nelsan Ellis.

Enjoy!

1. Hey, Hookah. How you doin'? what are you doing here? I work he...

Lafayette reynolds new true blood

Lafayette: Hey, Hookah. How you doin'? what are you doing here?
Tara: I work here.
Lafayette: Oh, no the hell you don't!
Tara: Oh, yes the hell I do too, you ugly bitch.
Lafayette: Shit. Sam must've lost his damned mind because you should not be allowed to work in no situation where you actually have to interact with the people

Lafayette: Hey, Hookah. How you doin'? what are you doing here? Tara: I work here. Lafayette: Oh, no the hell you don't! Tara: Oh, yes...

2. All right, all right. I is on my way. But you might got ta find ...

Lafayette reynolds new true blood

Lafayette: All right, all right. I is on my way. But you might got ta find your own ride home. Just in case I get lucky.
Tara: Whatchu mean if you get lucky? Your standards are so low you always get lucky

Lafayette: All right, all right. I is on my way. But you might got ta find your own ride home. Just in case I get lucky. Tara: Whatchu...

3. I shouldn't have lost it like that. Don't you feel sorry for y...

Sookie stackhouse pic

Sookie: I shouldn't have lost it like that.
Tara: Don't you feel sorry for yellin' at that snoopy old bitch. She's been stickin' her nose where it don't belong for years.
Lafayette: Say it. I mean, if she talked any more shit she'd be shaped like a toilet

Sookie: I shouldn't have lost it like that. Tara: Don't you feel sorry for yellin' at that snoopy old bitch. She's been stickin' her nose...

4. It felt like... It felt like every single care or worry or saddn...

Sookie stackhouse pic

Sookie [describing Bill biting her]: It felt like... It felt like every single care or worry or saddness I've ever had was just flowin' out of me and into him. And, yeah it hurt at first. But when I relaxed, it didn't hurt at all.
Lafayette: I was always scared to let him bite me. I don't know, Sookie. I just think that when there's blood involved, a line been crossed.
Sookie: Oh, I definitely crossed a line and glad I did.
Lafayette: Well you go ahead on, hookah with your badass. Good for you. It ain't possible to live unless you crossin' somebody's line.

Sookie [describing Bill biting her]: It felt like... It felt like every single care or worry or saddness I've ever had was just flowin'...

5. If you die I'm gonna be really pissed That makes two of us

Rutina wesley as tara

Tara: If you die I'm gonna be really pissed
Lafayette: That makes two of us

Tara: If you die I'm gonna be really pissed Lafayette: That makes two of us

6. Make me a vampire. I beg your pardon? You can put me to work...

Lafayette from true blood

Lafayette: Make me a vampire.
Eric: I beg your pardon?
Lafayette: You can put me to work in the bar...I'm a good dancer you've seen it on my site. (Eric walks around to him) Shit, I'd get up there and I'd move Earth and Heaven go-go style.
Eric: You are aware there's a gaping hole in your leg? You're damaged goods.
Lafayette: Not if you turn me. I'd be good as ever. Look I...I'm already a person of poor moral character. So, I hit the ground running and I damn near glamour people already. Gimme what ya'll got...not only will I be a bad-ass vampire, but I'd be your bad-ass vampire

Lafayette: Make me a vampire. Eric: I beg your pardon? Lafayette: You can put me to work in the bar...I'm a good dancer you've seen it on...

7. I am so happy and proud to shake the hand of someone with your v...

Lafayette from true blood

I am so happy and proud to shake the hand of someone with your values. Too often we're governed by criminals and hypocrites. Don't you agree? But I can tell you're a man of virtues and I applaud the effort you're making against the poor and disenfranchised. Especially the vampires and the gays. So many things can happen to bring down a person such as yourself. You might wanna be careful

Lafayette [while shaking the senator's hand]
I am so happy and proud to shake the hand of someone with your values. Too often we're governed by criminals and hypocrites. Don't you...

8. You're too busy praising Jesus to realize your daughter wants to...

Lafayette from true blood

You're too busy praising Jesus to realize your daughter wants to move in with him permanently.

Lafayette
You're too busy praising Jesus to realize your daughter wants to move in with him permanently.

9. Jesus and I agreed to see other people, but that don't mean we d...

Lafayette from true blood

Jesus and I agreed to see other people, but that don't mean we don't still talk from time to time.

Lafayette
Jesus and I agreed to see other people, but that don't mean we don't still talk from time to time.

10. This has got to be the worst motherf**king intervention in histo...

Lafayette from true blood

This has got to be the worst motherfucking intervention in history

Lafayette
This has got to be the worst motherfucking intervention in history

11. If only Miss Jeanette was still alive. She don't need no backw...

Lafayette from true blood

Lettie Mae: If only Miss Jeanette was still alive.
Lafayette [about Tara]: She don't need no backwards witch. She needs Thorazine and padded cell

Lettie Mae: If only Miss Jeanette was still alive. Lafayette [about Tara]: She don't need no backwards witch. She needs Thorazine and...

12. Tara, you are safe here. You have to do exactly as I say I am...

Stephen moyer as bill compton

Bill: Tara, you are safe here. You have to do exactly as I say
Tara: I am not your fucking slave girl
Lafayette: If there ever there was a time to listen to a white man, Tara, this is it

Bill: Tara, you are safe here. You have to do exactly as I say Tara: I am not your fucking slave girl Lafayette: If there ever there was...

13. I got a lot on my mind lately. That must be new.

Jason stackhouse pic

Jason: I got a lot on my mind lately.
Lafayette: That must be new.

Jason: I got a lot on my mind lately. Lafayette: That must be new.

14. Them f**kers is a whole new dimension of trash.

Lafayette from true blood

Them fuckers is a whole new dimension of trash.

Lafayette
Them fuckers is a whole new dimension of trash.

15. Go tell your mama that two faggots whooped your ass!

Lafayette from true blood

Go tell your mama that two faggots whooped your ass!

Lafayette
Go tell your mama that two faggots whooped your ass!

16. We'll stay for five minutes. 10 if they got dranks.

Lafayette from true blood

We'll stay for five minutes. Ten if they got dranks.

Lafayette
We'll stay for five minutes. Ten if they got dranks.

17. You're a witch, who's a nurse, and a dude? How did I get so luck...

Lafayette from true blood

You're a witch, who's a nurse, and a dude? How did I get so lucky?

Lafayette
You're a witch, who's a nurse, and a dude? How did I get so lucky?

18. We could end up in Hell, or f**kin South Dakota.

Lafayette from true blood

We could end up in Hell, or fuckin South Dakota.

Lafayette
We could end up in Hell, or fuckin South Dakota.

19. Marnie won. We're f**ked.

Lafayette from true blood

Lafayette: Marnie won.
Jesus: We're fucked.

Lafayette: Marnie won. Jesus: We're fucked.

20. Marni just puked that bitch out.

Lafayette from true blood

Marnie just puked that bitch out.

Lafayette
Marnie just puked that bitch out.

21. I felt like a giant-ass puppet for your ghost uncle.

Lafayette from true blood

I felt like a giant-ass puppet for your ghost uncle.

Lafayette
I felt like a giant-ass puppet for your ghost uncle.

22. Next time, text a motherf***er or somethun' and save us all from...

Lafayette from true blood

Next time, text a motherf***er or somethun' and save us all from a world of worry.

Lafayette
Next time, text a motherf***er or somethun' and save us all from a world of worry.

23. Goat tongue for breakfast. Wow. That smells well done.

Lafayette from true blood

Goat tongue for breakfast. Wow. That smells well done.

Lafayette
Goat tongue for breakfast. Wow. That smells well done.

24. You is the angel of death.

Lafayette from true blood

You is the angel of death.

Lafayette [to Sookie]
You is the angel of death.

25. Arlene, these beans is colder than titties in a brass bra.

Lafayette from true blood

Arlene, these beans is colder than titties in a brass bra.

Lafayette
Arlene, these beans is colder than titties in a brass bra.

26. I'm a bitch not a snitch, love it.

Lafayette from true blood

I'm a bitch not a snitch, love it.

Lafayette
I'm a bitch not a snitch, love it.

27. Save room for dessert. I ain't gonna tell ya'll what it is, but ...

Lafayette from true blood

Save room for dessert. I ain't gonna tell ya'll what it is, but best believe it's gonna be flamin.

Lafayette
Save room for dessert. I ain't gonna tell ya'll what it is, but best believe it's gonna be flamin.

28. I ain't Gmail for dead bitches.

Lafayette from true blood

I ain't Gmail for dead bitches. Send your own goddamned messages!

Lafayette
I ain't Gmail for dead bitches. Send your own goddamned messages!

29. Creepy spirit thing, why you in Sookie bathroom?

Lafayette from true blood

Creepy spirit thing, why you in Sookie bathroom?

Lafayette
Creepy spirit thing, why you in Sookie bathroom?

30. Hookah I ain't in the helpin' business no more. I'm in the fu-k ...

Lafayette from true blood

Hookah I ain't in the helpin' business no more. I'm in the fu-k off while I smoke a blunt business and business is about to pick way the fu-k up.

Lafayette
Hookah I ain't in the helpin' business no more. I'm in the fu-k off while I smoke a blunt business and business is about to pick way the...

31. You gotta eat yah grease to beat the booze.

Lafayette from true blood

You gotta eat yah grease to beat the booze.

Lafayette
You gotta eat yah grease to beat the booze.

32. You ready for this? Bout as ready as Big Pharma can make a man...

Sookie stackhouse pic

Sookie: You ready for this?
Lafayette: Bout as ready as Big Pharma can make a man.

Sookie: You ready for this? Lafayette: Bout as ready as Big Pharma can make a man.

33. Now let me get this hetero straight, so you's a vampire that can...

Stare from pam

Lafayette: Now let me get this hetero straight, so you's a vampire that can come out in the daytime.
Warlow: Yeah, in a nutshell.
Lafayette: There go the damn neighborhood.

Lafayette: Now let me get this hetero straight, so you's a vampire that can come out in the daytime. Warlow: Yeah, in a nutshell....

34. Well hey there sugar boo boo. Now what is you doing here at yo p...

Lafayette from true blood

Well hey there sugar boo boo. Now what is you doing here at yo place of work? Cause I know it ain't work.

Lafayette
Well hey there sugar boo boo. Now what is you doing here at yo place of work? Cause I know it ain't work.

35. That's the sickest thing I've seen in TV. And I watch Dance Moms...

Lafayette from true blood

That's the sickest thing I've seen in TV. And I watch Dance Moms.

Lafayette
That's the sickest thing I've seen in TV. And I watch Dance Moms.

36. Sh*t I'm pregnant again. Hey, you forgot your rings. F**k ...

Lafayette from true blood

Arleen: Sh*t I'm pregnant again.
Lafayette: Hey, you forgot your rings.
Arleen: F**k the rings.

Arleen: Sh*t I'm pregnant again. Lafayette: Hey, you forgot your rings. Arleen: F**k the rings.

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True Blood Quotes

Bill: Sookie... I cannot...and I will not lose you. For all the ways I have...dismayed, agrieved, or failed you, I swear I will atone. But I am not sorry. I refuse to apologize for what you have awakened...in me. You...you are my miracle, Sookie. For the first time in 140 years, I felt something I thought had been lost in me forever... I love you. And for that, I shall never feel sorry!
Sookie: God damn you, Bill Compton... I love you!

I did not survive four lousy husbands, a serial killer boyfriend and the sort of suicide of my love Terry, to die in the dingy basement of a fucking vampire bar.

Arlene

True Blood Music

  Song Artist
Good behaviour Good Behaviour Powersolo iTunes
Pistol whip me Pistol Whip Me Acumen Nation iTunes
Crazed country rebel Crazed Country Rebel Hank Williams III iTunes